0007

"One is best served by measuring success in life not merely by the quality of one's friendships, but also by the cuntiness of one's enemies." - Professor Hanuman

0005

"Liberty is the highest goal to which true patriots of our fold must aspire - unwavering in our veracity and ever vigilant in it's defense. Harrumph... Shmeh Shmeh."

- President Assey McAssclown of Assington County, Asstardia

0004

"I like cheese. You like mustard. We should date."

  - crazy chick down the street

0003

"God does not play dice with the Universe unless all the hookers are busy."

  - Alfred E. Einstein

0002

"All the World's a stage. Except the parts that are underwater - we'd all be like: GURGLE GURGLE CHOKE AK. And that would suck."

  - Ronald Shakespeare

0001

"There will never be another Johnny Cash... unless we clone him Jurassic-Park-style, drunkenly beat the child daily, then give him a guitar."

  - Professor Hanuman